The first step in improving you is to understand you.  The second step is to admit there are areas for improvement.  Often I hear, “Well, that is how I am and that is how she is and neither of us can change”.  Meaning: ‘I’m not going to change and she won’t either so you are stuck with both of us how we are, like it or lump it’.

Early influencers like our parents and teachers can affect how you turn out as an adult.  So, because your parents got divorced twenty years ago, you blame them for your current need to avoid all human interaction.  Rubbish.  The past is the past so don’t give your parents all the credit for how you are as an adult today.  Distancing yourself from everyone might work very well for you and if it does, that is wonderful.  You are the most important person in your world and we all strive for maximum happiness and self-acceptance.  But if you believe there is benefit from having closer relationships, understand this and know you can change.

Think about your values and what is important to you. What makes you happy and sad?  Are you happy with who and where you are today?  Are you being as kind to yourself as you could possibly be?  Is your personality serving you well or do you need to make changes and improvements?  Are you exhausted by a constant need to control, saying, “But that’s who I am, I always take charge and control everyone and everything”. Perhaps it is time to take a break, loosen your grip on life and change how others see you.

Make a point of understanding yourself.