How Hard Can it Be?

Let’s have a baby, make us a friend

Start us a family, the fun never ends

Ceremonial pill burning, nothing much else to do

But first, I have questions, but only a few.

How long does it take, to fall in with child?

Some did it right now, some took a while.

I surveyed, I averaged, I worked it all out

‘twill take roughly 9 months – there wasn’t much doubt.

I thought:

Inconceivable, unbelievable and totally achievable

After all, how hard can it be?

So within just one week, I’m now throwing up

Moaning and miserable, I thought my life sucked

My nurse friend, observant, well, she said it first:

“Oh, congratulations! you’re going to give birth”

“But how can that be? 9 month’s what it takes”

“no, takes 9 months to grow it, what a silly mistake!”

Well, I grumbled, I grizzled, I’d now changed my mind

After only one week, I’m damn short on time.

And vomiting now:

Inconceivable, unbelievable, perhaps not quite achievable

But really, how hard can it be?

I had never held a baby, of small folk I knew zip

Friends, family amazed: ‘Are you going to keep it?’

“Of course”, I’d replied, what else could I do?

There was always my mantra, to help me get through

Arrogantly, I thought, that’s what nurses are for

Couple weeks in the hospital, I’d ace it for sure.

I learned pretty soon, that nurses weren’t there

To teach me to bath it, to change it, to care.

Inconceivable, unbelievable, almost achievable

Hanging in there: how hard can it be?

And happily I managed, the children now grown

I didn’t drop him or lose him and the time has just flown

And now there’s grandbabies, a total of five

So, learn while you go, always enjoy the ride

And consider, remember and never forget

You can do this, you’ve got this, have no regrets.

Tell yourself:

Inconceivable, unbelievable, but totally achievable

Now, ask yourself, how hard can it be?